The unbelievably embarrassing Lord of the Rings poem...by me.

I wrote this poem a couple years ago. It's horribly embarrassing but a little fun at the same time. I'm pretty sure I made up a couple words as well just to keep the rhyming going if you know what I mean. To add to my embarrassment, I've included a couple of horribly inaccurate drawings from scenes from The Fellowship of the Ring. Enjoy. Also, depending on the response I get, I may or may not post a story I wrote about the fellowship finding themselves in the Land of Oz. 

Post script I do not owe anything by J.R.R. Tolkien or New line Cinema for that matter. Please don't sue me. 

From Rivendell they set out

Nine companions true.

A Man, a Dwarf, an Elf,

Chosen to see it though.

An Heir of renowned blood

Though folly scarred a vein.

Brave and Noble was he and

Destined to reclaim his reign.


Four hobbits also made the group

Valiant and loyal were they,

One bore the Ring of Power

And there his quest would lay.

   

Last of all came Gandalf

Virtuous to his line.

Might and power he brought

Thus completing the Nine.

   

From Rivendell they set out,

Traveling as a band,

Unsure of what peril would

Come from evil hands.

   

South was the way of their travel

Heading for the Rohan Gap.

But the Eye turned its gaze southward

And put them on his map.

   

Their path was veered to Caradhras

The mighty mountain pass

No race could overcome it

And the storm soon turned their backs.

   

Anxious they turned to Moria

The mighty Dwarven Mine.

Where danger and evil dwelled

Acquired over time.

   

The door was lit by moonlight,

Opened by an elvish sound

Fleetingly they hurried in

Too late to turn back now.

   

   

Entering they discovered

The Mine was now a tomb.

Gimli mourned his brothers

As Gandalf read their doom.

   

A clatter fell down the well

Causing all to stop and look,

From the mischief of a hobbit

Known as Peregrin Took.

   

No one dared to breathe

The crash echoed the halls

The drums began to wickedly beat

As the orcs began their calls.

   

The door was quickly shut

And jammed by fallen axes

Warriors then took their places

Ready to meet their matches.

   

Orcs and Goblins soon arrived

Hacking at the door.

Legolas was quick to see

A hole at which they tore.

   

Skillfully he fired his bow

The elven arrow true.

Yet swiftly he again took aim

More was there to do.

   

Battle began as minions swarmed

Fighting like vicious dogs.

Fearlessly the Nine did fight

Felling orcs like logs.

   

Crashing through the walls,

Came a sudden dread.

A cave troll of monstrous size

Severely underfed.

   

Dumbly he swung his club

The battle continued its plight

Unwittingly it cornered Frodo

And stabbed with all its might.

   
  

The cave troll finally fell.

An arrow to his head.

No rejoicing was there though,

For Frodo lay there dead.

   

Little did the companions know

The thrusted spear did fail.

Mithril wrapped his body

And it’s as hard as dragon’s scales.

   

Running from the room,

They once again took flight.

Swarms of orcs surrounded,

Forcing them to fight.

   

Loud came a bellow,

Down an unlit hall.

Orcs and goblins ran away,

As the fear continued to call.

   

Only Gandalf knew

What evil lay ahead.

Fear slumped his shoulders,

His face was dropped by dread.

   
“A Balrog of Mordor”

He announced with a sigh.

Fear gripped the Fellowship

As Gandalf shouted “Fly!”

   
Tearing down the hall,

To the bridge of Khazad-dûm,

The Balrog screamed behind.

He would be upon them soon.

   

Gandalf’s heart began to pound,

For he all too ready knew.

He made a grab for Aragorn,

And told him what to do.


   
Pausing for a moment,

The Ranger held his breath,

One against a Balrog,

Would surely meet his death.

      

One by one they crossed the bridge.

All, but one who did not cower.

Gandalf the Grey would stay and fight,

For he possessed the power.

   

“Gandalf!” Frodo cried,

anguish in his voice.

But the wizard stood upon the bridge.

He already made his choice.

   

Thus the Balrog came.

A terror in his right.

Black as coal and bright with fire.

A nightmare from the night.

   
“You cannot pass!” Gandalf roared.

Slamming down his staff.

No matter what the creature did,

It would not be allowed to pass.

   

Then the creature fell.

Bright whip still in hand,

Gandalf turned to go,

And join the awe-struck band.

  

Alas, the whip still hailed.

And grabbed him unaware.

The Balrog’s whip pulled him over,

And frantically dangled there.

   
“Fly you fools!” was all he said.

As Frodo screamed his name.

Gandalf then fell down into dark.

One player out of the game.

   

“Nooo!” Frodo wailed

 jerking for his friend.

Boromir grabbed him just in time,

And carried him up the bend.

   

Blurred was the world to all,

As the broken Nine emerged.

Some openly cried their tears,

Other’s remained unheard.

Too fast went the time

As Aragorn took charge.

“Give them a moment!” Boromir snapped.

 But there was dangerous orcs at large.

  
Their course was set for Lothlorien

The beautiful elven haven.

That’s what Gandalf had said,

That’s where Aragorn would take them.

   

Traveling in their sorrow,

They soon reached the Golden Wood.

Unaware of being observed,

Silent from where they stood.

   

Unexpectedly the group did find

Themselves at the business ends

Of the skillfully pointed arrows

Of the guards of Lothlorien.

   

“You cannot go back”

a voice softly warned them.

Belonging to Haldir the

Marchwarden of Lorien.

   

“We must go back”

Gimli said, panic in his voice.

But the elves took them forward

The companions had no choice.

   

They were taken through the Golden Wood

And up the trees that tower.

Where Celeborn and Galadriel stood,

The might of elven power.

   
There counsel was held.

And all to know was learned.

Then Galadriel bid them sleep,

A rest they all had earned.

   

Exhaustedly they laid their camp,

As Mithrandir’s death was mourned.

Sam awkwardly stood erect.

A poem had he to bore.

       

“The finest rockets ever seen,

They burst in stars of blue and green.

Right after thunder, silver showers,

Falling like a rain of flowers.”

   

Time passed slowly

For one who did not sleep.

Frodo Baggins lay there restless,

When he heard the sound of feet.

Quietly he followed her,

The Lady into a dell.

And there erect and proud,

Stood the mirror of Galadriel.

   

There she showed the hobbit

What was in the mirror.

To his awe and horror,

Frodo became a seer.

   

Dreadful things he saw in there,

Races doomed to die.

Suddenly the image blackened,

And then there was the Eye.

   

Frightenly he clutched the ring

And tore himself away.

Death would come on swift wings

Were he to obey.


Gasping for a breath,

He offered her the ring.

To free himself of burden

In which the ring to bring.

   
Though desire in her heart

Forced her to the test,

She will remain Galadriel

And sail into the West.

   
Alas the time drew near

To leave the elven haven.

Hurriedly they packed their gear

And supplies the elves had gave them.

     

Gifts were then bestowed

To each member of the band.

Elvish boats then set sail,

The time to leave at hand.

   
Swiftly down the river

The Fellowship did sail.

But unknown to them,

Gollum was on their trail.

   

Far away at Isengard

Saruman’s army made.

“Bring the Halflings, kill the others”

His evil command obeyed.

   

Onward they did charge,

The fighting Uruk-hai.

Through the woods of Amon Hen,

The broken Nine close by.

   
On the banks of Amon Hen,

They rested from their flight.

Only Legolas could sense

That something was not right.

   
He earnestly urged them on

But Aragorn answered nay.

“We cross the lake at nightfall.”

And so they must delay.

   
Wandering all alone,

Frodo continued on.

He was then found by Boromir

And the hold upon him was strong.

   
He demanded for the ring.

Frodo put up a fight.

Boromir would use the ring

To aid in Gondor’s might.

   

He quickly got away

And found again by Strider.

Frodo offered him the ring,

But he bade him hold it tighter.

       

He then let Frodo go

As the blade of Sting went blue.

The fighting then commenced,

As Frodo turned and flew.

   

To Mordor he would go,

Alone to finish the quest.

All though they had been faithful,

He would have to leave the rest.

 
Valiantly they fought,

The warriors of the Nine.

But Merry and Pippin were taken,

And Boromir left to die.

   
In the arms of his king,

He took his final breath.

Then Boromir Son of Gondor,

Was finally laid to rest.

   
As Frodo rowed away,

Samwise finally found him.

And immediately swam after,

To Frodo he was bounded.

   
“You cannot swim!” Frodo cried

as Samwise thrashed around.

Water began enveloping him

And he slowly began to drown.


Suddenly his hand was grabbed

From Frodo up above.

He helped him into the boat,

And gazed at him with love.

   
Together they would stay

To Mordor they would go.

His promise Sam would keep.

And they both began to row.

   
Three companions left

Standing on the shore.

They dwindled on their failure.

What had it all been for?

      

They then thought of two

Who had been taken by the band.

Merry and Pippin would not be left,

For torture by evil hands.

   
A pact was made then and there,

To stay true to each other.

In vain the Fellowship would not be,

Though it rested on another.

   
Quickly they gathered their gear,

And raced away toward the sun.

The whole of Middle Earth before them,

The hunt for Orcs begun.

   
And so ends this poem,

That has taken many hours.

But the quest to destroy the ring,

Goes on in the Two Towers.

   

End.